And So It All Begins

I sit here today, trying to come to some sort of understanding as to what lead me here. To this place, to this time, to this path that seems so disorienting. In truth its doubtful that I will find answers to questions like that. But it does not stop me from asking them. If we don't ask the tough questions of ourselves, who will?

I thought I knew where I was going. I thought I knew what I was doing. I thought I had my plans, my dreams, and my ambitions all laid out in a nice little row that made all the sense in the world to no one but me. I heard once, that the best way to make God laugh, is to make plans.

This will be my way of cataloguing my journey. Suppose that's how everyone does it. Im not really sure. All I know is I need a way to reflect back, I need a way to see the journey all laid out, I suppose I could use a book, or even just my laptop, but I think by throwing it all out on the line into cyber space, there's a chance that somehow somewhere, it will be more valid. Its harder to run from it when someone else could see it. Harder to pretend it didn't happen. I think it will make me more accountable for the things I say and the things I do. Force me to be true to it all.

So Where does that leave me. Well there are a lot of things I need to deal with, my problems with money, men, work, weight, passion, and ambition, goals and desires. There are many things I plan to discover about myself and for myself, for those that happen upon this...

Welcome to the border between Sanity and Insanity. It's a fine line to be walked.